Adventures in Dating

There's much to be said about the opportunity to get to know one's self, and stumble on unresolved issues, through dating. In the years since my divorce, I've been fortunate enough to experience the richness of what love and relationship can bring. Although I've not yet met my life-long partner, I believe that I'm preparing to, and will, meet him by consciously choosing to learn and evolve as I navigate my own journey and the dating world.

Having grown up surrounded by narcissism, alcoholism, and the associated abuse and dysfunction, it was all I seemed to attract. The type was familiar and comfortable, like a pair of old jeans, but what I absolutely do not want in my life. After a disastrous marriage and three relationships since with my all too familiar type, I embarked on a journey of self discovery and personal growth. You see, the only control we have is over our own actions and we alone have responsibility for them. Blame is not an option. My relationships have facilitated a process of learning to love, respect, and accept myself, and establishing healthy boundaries. Those lessons won't ever excuse the actions of those who have hurt me in the past, but I love myself enough now to no longer allow mistreatment. That intention has been definitively set with the Universe.

Realistically, change is a process that happens over time with experience, patience, and commitment. Now after each date, I take time to go within myself, assess my true feelings and intuition, and take whatever next step is right for me to remain true to myself. It takes lots of practice, but if you really trust in yourself, you will be guided in the direction that serves your highest self. The ability and awareness to assess situations objectively and quickly avoids or ends involvement in unhealthy relationships. Over time I've learned that when I don't trust my inner compass, pain follows and I discover things about myself that I haven't yet learned or healed.

There are also other nuggets of dating wisdom that I've acquired over the years that I will share in a future posting.